Confession number quatre: Yesterday was easy. Today was hard.
It was to be a productive day of holding my head high and working towards a better future.
It started off promising, waking up early, sipping on warm coffee and getting things done. To Staples I went, proudly printing off my resume for the afternoon's interview, then home to change. Hair straightened, make-up applied, boots on, I was ready to take on the world. I arranged my transportation, kissed to dogs goodbye and off I went.
I started down the street, the wrong way. Quickly, I realized and turned around. It was at this point, when I literally turned around, that my whole day decided to turn around too. I was now walking the same path I had just nights before, but something was missing: I didn't have my dog.
Overwhelming sadness came over me, as all the emotions from last Thursday night came flooding back. The anxiety, the panic, the fear, all took over my now cluttered mind. I fought back tears as I kept on towards the rental car. Upon arrival at the vehicle, I took a deep breath and got in. I didn't want to let this hinder my chances at a rewarding job, as Chico wouldn't have wanted me to do so, but I couldn't help it.
Everywhere I tried to find strength, just brought more sadness and the tears kept flowing. Though I made it to Kitsilano, I was a mess and promptly accepted defeat, even if I didn't want to.
I suppose the moral here is to accept that there will be good days and bad days and, for whatever reason, some things just aren't meant to happen.
Today's events won't stop me from trying. Instead, I will take it as a learning experience in this thing called grieving.
A wise puppet once said "Do, or do not, there is no 'try'".
Today, I did not.
It was to be a productive day of holding my head high and working towards a better future.
It started off promising, waking up early, sipping on warm coffee and getting things done. To Staples I went, proudly printing off my resume for the afternoon's interview, then home to change. Hair straightened, make-up applied, boots on, I was ready to take on the world. I arranged my transportation, kissed to dogs goodbye and off I went.
I started down the street, the wrong way. Quickly, I realized and turned around. It was at this point, when I literally turned around, that my whole day decided to turn around too. I was now walking the same path I had just nights before, but something was missing: I didn't have my dog.
Overwhelming sadness came over me, as all the emotions from last Thursday night came flooding back. The anxiety, the panic, the fear, all took over my now cluttered mind. I fought back tears as I kept on towards the rental car. Upon arrival at the vehicle, I took a deep breath and got in. I didn't want to let this hinder my chances at a rewarding job, as Chico wouldn't have wanted me to do so, but I couldn't help it.
Everywhere I tried to find strength, just brought more sadness and the tears kept flowing. Though I made it to Kitsilano, I was a mess and promptly accepted defeat, even if I didn't want to.
I suppose the moral here is to accept that there will be good days and bad days and, for whatever reason, some things just aren't meant to happen.
Today's events won't stop me from trying. Instead, I will take it as a learning experience in this thing called grieving.
A wise puppet once said "Do, or do not, there is no 'try'".
Today, I did not.